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Yours, Evan Every line of this message can be thrown out. Because anyone whom you contact knows by virtue of you writing to them that a) you liked their profile, b) you liked their photo and c) you’d like a reply. That, my friends, is what separates the most successful online daters from the rest of the pack. In this case, I’ve written them for men replying to women, but the steps are applicable to everyone: Every word of it.
Remember, that’s why she wrote it – because she wants you to get to know her, not because she wants to be told for the umpteenth time that she’s hot. NOT the thing you like the most, NOT the thing you find most attractive, NOT the thing you have in common. It might be how she doesn’t know how to program her Ti Vo. Yes, you think it’s cool that she also likes Robert De Niro movies and skiing in Vail. The sillier and more over-the-top your email, the funnier it’ll be.
The thing is, even if she’s interesting, she most likely wrote a whole bunch of clichés in her profile: “I’m nice, smart, kind, warm, funny, honest and family-oriented. I’m looking for my best friend, lover and partner in crime for a lifetime of love and laughter.” (Scary how easy it is to approximate the typical online dating profile, isn’t it? Even a specific response like “I noticed you enjoy biking. For example, if you’re writing to the foot model, you might say: Let’s drink to our fashion careers, Evan Sure, it’s a little goofy, but people actually respond to this stuff. Because it’s different, it’s audacious and, in a strange way, it’s kind of smart. It’s not an idle compliment or a generic, “Ooh, look what we have in common” line. Start your comment in the subject heading of the email, like this… Talk to you soon, Evan If these kinds of emails don’t work for you, no problem. Just keep in mind that the confidence it takes to write an email like that is compelling.
But I’ve come to believe that men, specifically, say they want funny and original. But I wonder if there’s anything more to it than my own personal experience.
But when it comes to acting on that statement, most of them don’t. In fact, I think I’m posting this on JDaters Anonymous.
But you accept the reality of this and begin your diligent search, looking at an endless stream of pictures and scouring details, making comparisons — this one is a newer model, but one has a clean title and less mileage — in the hopes that you'll eventually find something "good enough." Because you know, at some point, you have stop searching and just pick something already.
And that's what online dating is for — finding that "good enough" guy or girl after sifting through an endless sea of selfies and self-advertisements before landing on one that satisfies most, though not all, of your checklist items.
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